


The Things He Couldn't Say

by iamisaac



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:26:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5612203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamisaac/pseuds/iamisaac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus can’t say what’s in his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Things He Couldn't Say

“Sirius, please…”

“Please what, Moony?” Sirius, smiling, moved close to him, pressing their bodies together, rubbing up against him. “Something like this?”

“I want -” Remus broke off. He wasn’t any good at this, saying things. He never had been, and now he was more out of practice than ever. He felt himself blushing.

Sirius laughed. “You’re cute the way you go all red when I ask you to tell me what you want.”

“Shut up.”

“Why don’t you get on your knees and suck me off?” Sirius murmured, biting Remus’s neck. “If you can’t tell me what you want, I guess you’re going to have to do what I want.”

“Fuck you, Sirius.” 

But Remus was sliding to his knees as he spoke. And in truth, it was no hardship. He loved having his mouth around Sirius’s cock, probably more than he had any right to do, in fact. And Sirius knew it. Remus had Sirius’s cock out within seconds, and it was Remus making the little noise of need as he leant in, not Sirius; it was Remus groaning around Sirius’s cock because the feel of it in his mouth, the taste, the – oh god, the _Siriusness_ of it.

“Oh, you’re so good,” Sirius murmured, his voice low. “Merlin, Remus…”

Remus stopped playing with the head of Sirius’s cock, swirling his tongue around it, and took it deeper into his mouth. Sirius exhaled sharply. His hand, which had been in Remus’s hair, contracted into a fist, and Remus knew that he was trying not to fuck into Remus’s mouth. They could have lost this. They did lose it for all those years that Sirius was in Azkaban. Remus thought he’d never do this again, never taste the only man he’d ever loved, never drive him to the far edge of need and then pull him over, feel him pulse and come down Remus’s throat. All the things he couldn’t say, all the moments they’d lost through such stupid, _stupid_ mistrust. 

Remus, never ceasing to suck on Sirius’s cock, wrote _I love you_ on his lover’s thigh with one sharp fingernail. He knew Sirius would never understand it, could not possibly concentrate when he was this close to coming. That was the point. To write the things he couldn’t say, not out loud. _I’m sorry_ he scratched, over the other. Then, turning his concentration solely to Sirius’s cock, he took it deeper still, until the head nearly touched the back of his throat. So deep, so firm. Sirius was saying Remus’s name, over and over. Nothing else, just that – “Remus, Remus, Remus.” Then a halt – that moment where he teetered on the brink, and Remus sucked that little bit more, and Sirius was coming.

There was a moment of silence. Remus let Sirius’s softening cock slip out of his lips. He licked the come that had trickled down the corners of his mouth. He looked up at Sirius, and wondered what his lover had ever seen in him. And Sirius sank to his knees beside him, put his arms around him, and whispered,

“I love you, Remus.”

And Remus, holding him tight, unable to say the words – unable to find any words – held him close, and just hoped that Sirius knew how much, how very much, he cared.


End file.
